Stop Beating Yourself Up

By | January 22, 2014

Stop Beating Yourself Up- It Isn’t working

By Kathy D’Agati, Back to Basic Wellness

How many times have you told yourself that next week things will be different?

You’re going to get up and go to bed earlier.

  • You’re going to shop for food over the weekend so your pantry will be full of good food to eat.
  • You are going to eat breakfast before work and bring a healthy lunch.
  • You’re going to leave work on time and make a nice dinner
  • You’re going to spend more time with your family and loved ones
  • And you’re going to squeeze in a little exercise too.

 Many successful people make commitments just like that.

Every time they do, it is with the full belief that next week all of this is actually going to happen.

 It almost never does.

Why not?

What do you say to yourself about why you didn’t follow through?

Is it because your crazy boss doesn’t have a life?

Is it because your time is being drained with your kid’s endless list of activities?

Is it because you are just too lazy and undisciplined?

Are you sure?

 What if the problem isn’t really any of those things?

It is impossible to change a behavior if you don’t know what the blocks are to doing things differently.

It’s easy to believe your knee jerk response to a problem and state what seems to be the obvious. My guess is you would come up with a different answer if you were willing to step outside the box you keep yourself in.

Try this little experiment.

Schedule 15 minutes of every day to check in with yourself. Pick the time of day when you are most likely to do this on a consistent basis.

Start by closing your eyes and taking a deep, cleansing breath. Now ask yourself a few questions.

How are you feeling?

Stressed? Are you saying “yes” when you should be saying “no?”

  • Tired?     Are you giving yourself enough down time to recharge batteries?
  • Lonely?  When was the last time you got in touch with your friends?
  • Hungry? Are you skipping meals because you are too busy to take care of yourself?

You get the idea. When you spend a little time every day thinking about what’s going on in your life, you will see a pattern start to develop.

 That’s when the blocks to your success will become apparent.

When we are unhappy we say we want things to be different but what we usually choose instead is the familiar. We make lots of excuses for why things have to be the way they are so we can stay in our comfort zone.

 Change is a scary thing, even when it’s good change.

Instead of saying you are scared, you sabotage yourself by creating big impossible goals. When you can’t accomplish or even begin these goals, self-doubt comes crashing in and you use all your energy to beat yourself up.

“ I can’t do this because I am too…(fill in the blank).”

 Stop yelling at yourself.

Be nice. You will accomplish so much more with kindness and compassion.

Give yourself permission to take baby steps and reward your accomplishments when you succeed. Schedule your 15- minute “me” time and promise yourself a treat when you do it. Give yourself a pedicure, some new lipstick or a trip to the movies. That little bit of TLC will do wonders for your soul.

When you get comfortable with that change, you are ready to move on to the next. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon you will discover that small changes done consistently become big changes.

 And after all, aren’t you worth it?