A Cure for Feeling Crabby

By | October 6, 2013

If you have been feeling crabby, cranky, controlling, overwhelmed, over it or like you want to
tell everyone to buzz off– I have something important to share with you.

These symptoms do not mean you are a bad or mean person… they are an indication that your soul is just starving and trying to get your attention.

I remember the first day that I realized my soul was starving. Even though I was living my passion, doing great work in the world, meeting a lot of my goals, and making enough money to get by…

I found myself at the tail end of a three-week “busy binge” with little room for pleasure and play, leaving me, in one word, CRABBY.

It had gotten to the point where my assistant would come in and ask me:

“Christine, how are you feeling today?”  She did it to gauge how best to navigate the day  and my mood.

I finally asked myself: “Christine, what is going on with you?” And instantly I realized that I was unhappy, really unhappy, and had been for weeks. My reply was “What? I am one of the happiest people I know. How could this be?” My Inner Wisdom shot back:

“Your soul is starving. You have been so busy giving, so busy working, so consumed with being a joy for others that you’ve forgotten to experience joy for yourself.”

I felt a hole inside me. I was empty, starving for nourishment — but not the green drink kind. I needed soul food. And the food of the soul is joy.

The problem was I couldn’t even remember what actually brought me joy. And that is when I knew I needed a radical intervention… a self-love intervention.

And I’m guessing I am not alone in my experience—feeling crabby and cranky because I’m not getting what I need (maybe you can relate?)

Are you so busy doing, giving and trying to keep it all together or achieve your dreams that you are pursuing happiness instead of experiencing it?

A lot of us have work-play equation that gets out of balance – you don’t spend time and energy on activities that deliver only pleasure… instead of profit or productivity. As a result, your joy quotient plummets and your crabbiness increases. And so you joy-binge in unhealthy ways for a quick fix, but your soul never feels full.

So how joy-full or joy-starved are you?

Take this self-love check- up to measure the joy levels on the self-pleasure branch of your self-love tree. Your self-love tree has 10 branches; self-pleasure is the one that makes sure your SOUL is nourished.

Answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to these questions:

Do you:

  1. Feel unhappy and you don’t know why.
  2. Play or give yourself pleasurable things only after you have worked hard or finished your to- do list?
  3. Try to get pleasure in quick spurts or by bingeing on it. You wait until you are starving for fun and then you overindulge – eat, drink or spend too much.
  4. Have a hard time remembering what you actually like to do for fun and pleasure because it’s been so long?
  5. Feel too busy to enjoy the simple pleasures? You are so consumed by your to do list or workload you don’t take time to slow down and notice beauty, connect with nature or spend the day in bed reading a book?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these, your soul is starving for joy and you need to get some soul food ASAP.

Luckily, I have some suggestions. The first step is remembering what does bring you joy. Grab a piece of paper and right the word JOY in the middle of it. Then going through your life from the time you were little to now, write down all the things that bring you joy – things that make you smile, are just fun, make you feel warm inside, fill you up. Keep going until the page is full. This is called a “JOY PORTRAIT.”

Then commit to saying YES to one of these per day for the rest of your life – or just start with a month!

To do a more in-depth pulse check or to go through the full exercise, read Chapter 12 in Madly in Love with ME, the Daring Adventure to Becoming Your Own Best Friend. http://amzn.to/1cjWQPx

And for starters, today, try 3 joy-generators. Mine are: chanting in the morning, dancing in the kitchen or anywhere with my guy Noah. And, having deep conversations over food with my best friends.